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  PRAISE FOR THE WRITING OF NORMA FOX MAZER

  “Mazer is one of the best of the practitioners writing for young people today.” —The New York Times

  “It’s not hard to see why Norma Fox Mazer has found a place among the most popular writers for young adults these days.” —The Washington Post Book World

  A, My Name Is Ami

  “A satisfying novel about the ups and downs of 12-year-old Ami’s relationship with her best friend Mia … The writing is light but consistently sensitive and realistic, as the joys and disasters of the characters flow towards a moving and memorable ending.” —School Library Journal

  “The atmosphere and the girls are right on target.… An accurate slice of teenage life.” —Publishers Weekly

  B, My Name Is Bunny

  “[Bunny] is a likeable, true-to-life character who hates her name and wants to be a professional clown. Her friendship with Emily is the source and depth of this simple story of two teenagers learning about life … [a] story of growth and acceptance with accurate of two teenagers learning about life … [a] story of growth and acceptance with accurate and touching emotions.” —School Library Journal

  C, My Name Is Cal

  “Deftly sketched … Mazer’s skill in telling the reader more about Cal than he knows about himself, while narrating Cal’s unique, taciturn voice, is especially memorable.” —Kirkus Reviews

  “Readers will recognize themselves.” —Booklist

  Dear Bill, Remember Me?

  A New York Times Notable Book and a Kirkus Choice

  “Highly accomplished short stories, variously funny and moving, about ordinary, contemporary girls and their relationships with mothers or boyfriends.” —Kirkus Reviews

  “Eight short stories, powerful and poignant, about young women at critical points in their lives.” —The New York Times

  “Stories that are varied in mood and style and alike in their excellence.” —The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books

  Summer Girls, Love Boys

  “Featuring female protagonists, the stories mix the bitter and the sweet of life while encompassing a variety of narrative techniques, settings, themes, and tones.… Mazer writes honestly and provocatively of human emotion and circumstances while she demonstrates her versatility as a writer.” —Booklist

  Good Night, Maman

  “Mazer writers with a simplicity that personalizes the history.… Direct … honest.” —Booklist, starred review

  A, My Name Is Ami

  Norma Fox Mazer

  For Barbara Karlin—

  old friends when we first met

  Chapter 1

  My brother knocked on the door while I was in the shower, “Ami, get out of there,” he yelled.

  I poked my head around the shower curtain. “Can’t you wait a few more minutes?”

  “No! I’ve got a zit, and Jan’s coming over.” Fred banged on the door again. “Ami! Are you looking to make it into the Guinness Book of Records? Do you really mean to spend the best years of your life in the shower? I’m warning you, you are going to end up with old, wrinkled alligator skin from all that water.”

  Fred is like Dad. He can talk—and talk, and talk, and talk. I don’t talk that much, maybe that’s why I like the shower. I do some of my best thinking in there. It’s an actual fact that running water relaxes you. It has something to do with the water producing all these little negative ions that go charging around in the air and which, even though they’re negative, are terrifically good for you.

  If I have a terrible problem, even if I feel like all I want to do is scream, or get in bed and never wake up, I can stand under the shower and, after a while, not feel so awful. The night my mother went away in May was like that. I was running the water so hard, nobody even knew I was crying. If I was ever going to get alligator skin from showering, that was the night. The whole bathroom must have been loaded up with negative ions. I stood there so long, the water turned ice cold.

  “Ami!” Fred was back again. “Phone.”

  “Is this a trick?”

  “Would I do that? Your clone is on the phone.”

  I hopped out of the shower and pulled on my pj’s and robe. “Who?”

  “Your spiritual twin. Your other self.”

  “It’s Mia?”

  “Is that a description of anybody else? Come to think of it, does anybody else call you?”

  I opened the door. “Very funny, Freddy. Ha ha. Oh! You do have a zit.” He pushed past me and slammed the door.

  Fred is sensitive about his complexion. He’s five years older than I am, on the short, skinny side and—though I would never tell him, since he thinks well enough of himself already—he is really cute. He dresses preppy, has lots of dark hair, and a great smile. You can see that smile gleaming out in his yearbook pictures. In the photo of the French Club, also known as Le Club, all eleven members (not exactly the biggest club in Jefferson High) are sitting around a table, smiling, but Fred’s smile outshines them all.

  I ran downstairs. “Hello, Mia,” I said, picking up the phone in the kitchen.

  “Ami! At last! Where were you? I’ve been waiting for you to call me. Don’t you remember what today is?”

  “I remember, Mia. I was going to call.”

  “I was going crazy! I thought you’d forgotten. If you forgot, I was going to kill you, personally!”

  Dad says that Mia always sounds like she’s either won the lottery or lost a fortune. “That girl is either shrieking or groaning.” It is true that Mia can be sort of excessive, but it’s just that, to her, every little thing in life is exciting.

  I remember, once, we were taking a walk and turned down a side street. A lot of little houses, then suddenly a tiny storefront in one of the houses, with a crayoned sign in the window. HOMEMADE ICE CREAM. RELIABLE. Mia got excited right away. “We have to go in, Ami!” A bell tinkled when we opened the door, and an old man with a brown-spotted bald head leaned across the counter.

  “We want your reliable ice cream,” Mia said.

  “Don’t sell nothing else here.”

  “Is it really homemade?”

  “Wouldn’t sell it if it wasn’t.” He was so old his hands shook when he dipped the ice cream. “Make it myself every day. Three flavors. Today is vanilla, peach, and raspberry. Come tomorrow, three different flavors.”

  Mia’s eyes were shining. “We’ll have one cone of each flavor.”

  Outside, we passed the cones back and forth. The peach was okay, the raspberry was watery, but the vanilla was awful. It tasted like the medicine my mother used to give us when we had diarrhea.

  “Who cares?” Mia said. “Homemade ice cream, Ami. That’s like finding sunken treasure. It’s so rare!” And she made me feel as if finding that place and eating that awful ice cream was a fabulous event in my life. It’s a kind of genius she has for making everything special.

  “Ami,” she said now, intensely, “it’s our anniversary.”

  “I know. October fifteenth. I didn’t forget. Happy anniversary, Mia. I was going to call you.”

  “Happy anniversary, Ami! I knew you’d call, but I just couldn’t wait.”

  Mia and I have been best friends for four years. Everything about us is either just the opposite, or else matches. Our names have the same letters. We each have an older sib—mine’s a brother, hers is a sister. I’m more athletic, she’s more imaginative. My hair is heavy and hers is sort of bouncy and light. I’m tall, with my deep voice and sort of round face. Mia is small, she just comes up to my shoulder, and her face goes right to a point at her chin.

  Even our birthdays match, in a way. Mine is June twenty-first, hers is December third. Two and one (my numbers) make three (her number). Also, our birthdays are the sixth month and the twelfth month, which can both be divided by three, and they’re six months apart and six divided by two makes three again. Three is our special number.

  Last spring we each inked a triangle on our hands with PAA written around the sides. Three sides. Three letters. PAA. Protection Against Anything. Mia said PAA really worked. She said it was because of PAA that Ronnie and Davis Buck, who are cousins and two of the biggest pains in our class, stopped pestering her so much. Maybe. But PAA didn’t stop my mother from leaving us.

  Sometimes Mia and I wear the same clothes, like one day we’ll both wear red scarves around our necks, or maybe our blue corduroy caps and blue knee socks. We tell each other our dreams, we call each other up and check out what we’re watching on TV. And every year, ever since we became friends, we’ve liked the same boy.

  It began in fourth grade with Bruno Morelli. He wore a leather jacket and had beautiful green eyes. First, we both liked him alone and secretly. Then we talked it over and decided to like him together and secretly. We used to follow him home two or three times a week and leave love notes for him in his lunch box or in his desk or his jacket pocket. Once when we went by his house, he’d left his sneakers out on his lawn, and we put a note in each sneaker.

  “I made up a poem about Robert,” Mia said. “It’s not very good—do you want to hear it?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s awful, really.”

  “Read it to me.”

  She cleared her throat. “‘To Robert, Who Has Red Hair.’ That’s the title. ‘To Robert, Who Has Red
Hair.’”

  “I know that’s the title.”

  “It’s awful, I better not read it.”

  “I like the title,” I said.

  “You do? You’re not just saying that?”

  “You know me better than that, Mia. Read!”

  “Okay, here goes.” She cleared her throat again. Then she read, very fast, “‘To Robert, Who Has Red Hair. Your glasses shine like the sun. Your hair is red as rain. Oh Robert, Robert, Robert Volz! To love you is such sweet pain!’”

  We both burst out laughing. We couldn’t stop. I slid right down on the floor and rolled around with the telephone at my ear.

  “It’s awful,” Mia screamed, laughing, “it’s awful, isn’t it awful, Ami?”

  “Well … when you say, ‘Your hair is red as rain.’ Red rain?”

  “Poetic license. I’ll tear it up.”

  I sat up. “No, Mia, you have to keep it for the archives.”

  “Ami, I’d rather throw it away and write something better.”

  “No way, Mia. You know the rules.”

  Every year when we like the same boy, we keep a record of anything that has to do with him and us. Mostly, it’s a notebook we write in, but sometimes we get some object that belongs to him. The archives are actually just an old cardboard sneaker box where we keep all the stuff. Still, it’s part of our tradition.

  You have to realize all this about rules and archives started back in fifth grade with Raymond Fuller when we acquired two things of his and had a huge fight, all on the same day. The first thing we got was a blue ballpoint pen he threw away. The second was a wad of chewed-up bubble gum. We dared each other to grab the pen from the wastebasket during recess. Mia finally fished out the pen. “Here, you keep it!” She passed it to me. Later, that same day, we followed Raymond home. About halfway there, he spat out his gum, and I said we should pick it up and keep it with the pen.

  Mia said that was a disgusting idea. I said we didn’t have to touch the gum. “We’ll wrap it up in paper.”

  “It’s still disgusting!”

  “I thought you said we should keep everything we found of his.”

  “I meant, like pens,” Mia said. “Why do you have to be so literal?”

  “Why do you have to show off your vocabulary? I know you know biiiig words.”

  “Oh, excuse me! I’ll use little words for your little mind. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Pick. Up. Dirty. Gum!”

  We stood on the sidewalk and argued. Raymond was out of sight by now. Secretly I thought Mia was right, but I was too stubborn to admit it. I pointed out to her that she was the one who noticed that Raymond had spit out his gum. “You said it first, Mia. Do you admit you said it first?”

  “Do you think you’re the district attorney or something, Ami? Did I commit a crime? We just have totally different values. I don’t see why I’m your friend, at all.”

  “Nobody’s forcing you,” I said.

  We walked in opposite directions, but first I picked up the bubble gum. It was definitely disgusting, but after our fight I couldn’t not do it. Mia and I were mad at each other for three days. It was the worst fight we’d ever had. And, Mia said, after we made up, the stupidest. That was when we made rules for ourselves. Rule One. Anything we find that belongs to the beloved, we keep. Rule Two. Anything we write about the beloved, we keep. Rule Three. All fights to be made up after a period of no longer than one day.

  “The archives!” Mia said now. “The poem has to go in the archives. Oh, no! It’s there forever and ever and ever.” She sounded very dramatic. “I got carried away, Ami.”

  “So what else is new?”

  “Maybe I could just throw it away this one time?” she wheedled.

  “Mia, I didn’t make the rules.”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll keep it.”

  After we talked a while longer, I went up to my room and got into bed with Unccy Bernard. Unccy is a large yellow plush bear that my uncle Bernard sent for me when I was born. Uncle Bernard Lamott is my mother’s brother. He has a farm in Wisconsin. I don’t really know him, because I’ve only seen him two times in my life. I guess that’s why, when I was a little kid, I got mixed up and thought the bear was my actual uncle, which is how he got his name.

  The thing about Unccy Bernard is that there’s a place to put your hands and arms inside him from the back, so you can move his head and arms.

  I put my hands inside him. “Well, Ami, sweetheart,” I had him say, “how’re things with you?”

  “Oh … okay. I had an okay day.”

  Unccy put big furry yellow paws to his face. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You can tell your old Unccy, darling.” Unccy flopped his head against my shoulder. A furry yellow paw patted my face.

  “Oh, Unccy—” My throat got sort of thick.

  “You going to cry?” Unccy asked. “Unccy doesn’t mind.” He made little kissing sounds at me. “Unccy doesn’t mind if his sweetheart cries.”

  “No, it’s so stupid to cry.” I started crying. “See! I’m getting your fur all wet and it’s going to s-stink.”

  Unccy kept his head close to mine. “You want to tell old Unccy what’s bothering you?”

  “Unccy—it’s so hard to say.”

  “Old Unccy will take a guess.” He tapped his forehead. “Thinking, you know.” He twisted his head around to look at me. “You’re not used to your mom living over there in New Castle. Nod once if Unccy is right.”

  I nodded once.

  “Let Unccy take another guess. You miss her. Nod twice if Unccy is right.”

  I nodded twice and lay back with Unccy in my arms. I hoped Fred didn’t come in and find me like that.

  Chapter 2

  Last year, right at the end of the term, Mr. Feld, our science teacher, suddenly quit. Nobody knew why. There were rumors. One was that Mr. Feld was going into the paratroopers. Another rumor was that he had punched out Mr. Cooper, the gym teacher. Everybody was excited and then they forgot him. Ms. Linsley took his place. I remember the exact day she came to school. May 21, a Thursday, one month before my birthday, and the day after my mother finally moved out.

  About a week after that, Mia got sick with walking pneumonia. You think people get pneumonia in winter, not when it’s practically summer. I was really scared the whole time she was sick. I kept thinking, Mom’s moved out, now Mia’s sick. Two bad things have happened, what’s next?”

  Every day after school, I’d go around to the teachers and bring them Mia’s work that she was doing at home and see if they wanted me to tell her anything. That’s how I got to know Ms. Linsley really well. Her whole name is Forrest Lake Linsley. She’s taller than I am, with curly brown hair and really thick, dark eyebrows that almost meet over her nose. One day she told me that she used to hate her eyebrows and tried to pluck them out when she was my age. “But now I let them go their own way. They’re me, part of me, you know what I’m saying, Ami?”

  I nodded. It’s like my voice, which is really deep. Sometimes kids mock me out because of my voice, call me Foghorn Ami, and I feel unhappy. But I can’t do anything about it, can I? Some things you can change about yourself, but not your voice.

  Ms. Linsley said she had been substitute teaching since she graduated college. This was her first regular job. “You think you’re practicing for the real thing,” she said, “but when the real thing comes, it’s entirely different. It’s scary!”

  I knew what she meant. For months before that, my mother had been ready to move out of our house, and I had been practicing for when she did it. It started when she and Dad told Fred and me they were going to have a trial separation, to see if they liked living apart better. “Why?” I said.

  “Because we need to do this,” Mom said. “It happens to people. Listen, when you get married, you want it to be forever and wonderful, but sometimes it—just isn’t. You live together and then, at some point, you realize that maybe it isn’t the best thing for either of you. Do you see?”

  “No,” I said, because I didn’t.

  She hugged me. “Honey, we’re just in different places in our lives.”

  “Sure,” Fred said, like he was this superior grown-up, “that could happen.”

  I wanted to kill him. Why did he say that? Why did he encourage them? “So what if you fight a little? Make up your fights. You can. That’s what you’re always telling Fred and me.”